Noah - Off to 5th Grade

Today is the last first day of elementary school for Noah. He is beginning fifth grade and I am filled with sadness. I think that this days preparation has bothered me more than seeing him off to Kindergarten! This year of school appears to prepare the kids with so much independence. Or in my saddened view, a loss of innocence.

Noah and I changed this summer. His looks and height, once again. His personality is much stronger as well as how he perceives himself. He is more aware of how he dresses and how his hair is cut. He has moved beyond being afraid of the dark and the basement. His tastes in reading material differ. He eats many more foods. He enjoys alone time as well as family time. Me, well, as hard as it has been, I have been trying to give up some control. We now allow him to ride his bike down the street. He has been using the telephone when he needs to ask someone for something, instead of me doing it for him. I have learned to allow him to fail as well as allowing him to feel failure. Oh, and this is a tough one...I have asked for more responsibility from him. As a mother, it is so much easier to just do things yourself!

I met with some wise friends for dinner last week. A gathering of friends and fellow mothers that I never part without something to scratch my head about. One of the off the cuff topics that was brought up was whether we are bucket fillers or bucket emptiers. I have been reflecting for almost a week. Thanks, Barb! After some deep thought I have decided that for the most part I am a bucket filler. However, to the people I love the most, I do on occasion tip their bucket. Why do we do this to the ones that make us the most happy? The ones that give us the most in return? I vow to change. I vow to my husband and children, especially you Noah, to fill more than I empty. I love you all more than I can physically express.

So, the day goes on filling buckets. And, Isaac has not moved from the porch. He is standing guard until his Prince of Wright St steps off the bus. The cookies are baked and the little guys are missing Noah as much as mommy and I-Z.